20 Questions to Ask Elderly Loved Ones to Connect and Reminisce

• What do you remember about the place you grew up? Do you still live there, or have you visited? If so, how has it changed?
• Which invention from your lifetime are you most amazed by? What was life like before? It’s possible they’re from a generation that witnessed the invention of color TV, personal computers, the internet, and more.
• What’s the most unusual trend you remember? Was it a quirky fashion or a slang phrase everyone used?
• What was your favorite movie when you were younger? Consider suggesting that you watch it together! Libraries and streaming services like Turner Classic Movies and the Criterion Collection offer large selections of old films.
• What was your first job? What lessons did it teach you, and what job was your favorite?

Let our care assessment guide you

• Do you know the history of your family name, origin, or crest? If they’ve always been curious to learn more, suggest exploring a genealogy service together, like Ancestry or MyHeritage.
• What are your fondest memories of your parents or grandparents? What traits or traditions did they pass on?
• What was life like when you were raising your children? Do you have any funny or surprising stories about Mom or Dad (or other family members)?
• What did you and your siblings do for fun? Are there any funny stories of mischief or favorite hangouts from back in the day?
• How did you meet your spouse? Was it love at first sight or did it take time? What was the wedding like?

• What are the most rewarding things about getting older? Is it a lifetime of knowledge or something unexpected, like the senior discount at the movie theatre?
• What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in your life? What are the stories behind those lessons?
• Who has influenced you the most? Consider sharing with them how they’ve influenced your life so far.
• What life advice would you pass along?
• If you could go back to any age, what would it be? Why? What happened when you were that age? What was life like then?

• What was the best day of your life? Was it a wedding, the birth of a child, or just a nice day by the lake?
• What are you most proud of? What makes that achievement so special?
• What kinds of things make you the happiest now? Find ways to incorporate these joys into their life.
• How have your dreams and goals changed throughout your life? Do you have advice on adapting to life’s changes? Do you have regrets?
• How would you like to be remembered? This question could bring up some emotions, but knowing this can help you honor them and tell their story.

Talk with a Senior Living Advisor

Older generations have a wealth of information and stories to share. You can use these questions as a starting point for a conversation, but you don’t have to ask them all at once. When speaking with an aging loved one, approach each conversation with curiosity and patience. Take time to truly listen, whether you’re chatting over coffee or engaging in an activity together.

You might decide to record their insights and stories through notes or audio to preserve and share them in the future. Learning more about your loved one’s life can offer a way for you to stay connected with you loved one even after they’re gone.